also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
