Define "chronic" masturbator.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
