my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
