all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You have to summon your inner elephant
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Also, beer. Big fan.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
