You smell like stripper and shame
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Are we still banned from the library?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
this is an emotional support booty call
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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