you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
