They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Im part way to drunk.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
