who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
high people should be assigned attendants
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Also, beer. Big fan.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
