Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
