I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
