The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
wow bdsm is so cute
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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