is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
