so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
