I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
