Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I forgot wine drunk hurts
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
