I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
