My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
