she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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