i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
