i need an iv and a liver transplant
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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