How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
