i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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