If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
