they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
