I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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