I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
