Me. At least after what I've been through.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
