i can't believe i had my finger in that
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
