Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
