I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
FUCK WHALES
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