You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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