JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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