i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
