i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
