We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize