There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
