I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize