Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize