my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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