they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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