i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
