He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
