Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
