If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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