garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
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