He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
