We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
