hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
