Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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