the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
