I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
