my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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