I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
should my penis look like a turkey
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
