he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
