2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
