It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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