how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
