Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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