real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
