last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
