I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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